Get all 17 Isabella James releases available on Bandcamp and save 60%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of King Emerald and His Staff, The Dancers Reward, Fayre Inongenes Stote (Single), The beauté faye upon her face, Non erthly thing it may desface. (Cult Of Lilith), Desdemona, Untitled, Oizys is Birthing Herself, Brenda Still Cries, and 9 more.
1. |
Untitled
02:33
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2. |
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I pick up the skirt,
I pick up the sparkling beads
in black,
this thing that moved once
around flesh,
and I call God a liar,
I say anything that moved
like that
or knew
my name
could never die
in the common verity of dying,
and I pick
up her lovely
dress,
all her loveliness gone,
and I speak to all the gods,
Jewish gods, Christ-gods,
chips of blinking things,
idols, pills, bread,
fathoms, risks,
knowledgeable surrender,
rats in the gravy of two gone quite mad
without a chance,
hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I lean upon this,
I lean on all of this
and I know
her dress upon my arm
but
they will not
give her back to me.
It was a riverbank,
or could it have been an ocean,
Eitherway,
I watched you drown there.
Is this a song,
Or is it a eulogy.
Well I guess,
Your funerals over.
I guess it's a character piece,
Speaking to a mirror,
Reflecting solar rays,
Of your body.
I am so far away from you.
Is this song about sex,
Is this song about love,
Is this song about trauma,
Or the heavens above
I hope there is an afterlife for you.
Yes I do.
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3. |
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How the hallowed angels sing,
And they're working just for me,
How the hallowed angels sing,
They torture me for free.
I'm a fountain of blood in the,
Shape of a girl,
A cigar burning to the welkin forever,
A coil infertile uncurled.
This isn't torture porn it's my life,
So dream big Starla,
Dream big all through the aching nights,
So you can be human again.
Do you think that the water dreams of becoming a rainbow,
Do you think that I'm okay,
Do you think that dionysus dreams of being Lilith,
A lamia killing with his sex.
I am a Vaudeville Valley Girl,
I am a Vaudeville Valley Girl,
I must change,
I must change.
This isn't torture porn it's my life,
So dream big Starla,
Dream big all through the aching nights,
So you can be human again.
This isn't torture porn it's my life,
So dream big Starla,
Dream big all through the aching nights,
So you can be human again.
Tear my skin from my flesh,
Cover me in nails,
Sew me back together,
Sanctified sacred male.
A huntsman and the dogs that eat him,
Actaeon to your own artemis,
Abandoned debauched man.
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4. |
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An anti-oedopal example,
Of self loathing as a defence mechanism,
Building walls of the flesh,
Consecrate or sanctify.
I am the puppet I am the strings,
I am the clergywoman vexating her chargrin.
Saturn-esque colours my malaise tones,
I will claw every inch of my skin down to bone,
I am not a body without a soul,
I am not a body without a soul.
I am the puppet I am the strings,
I am the clergywoman vexating her chargrin,
Eating away at tumours cancer of the eyes,
Production Progeny I will to bring my own demise.
I'm the melody of stars containing infinity throughout me,
I am everything to you,
I am everything to you.
When I die It will be your fault,
When I die it will be your fault,
When I die it will be your fault,
When I die it will be your fault,
Hit me with your car you might as well,
Asphixyate me with your indomitability,
When I die it will be your fault,
When I die it will be your fault.
Boundlessness of solar reflection,
Mirroring mirroring screams sensations,
I am everything to you,
I am everything to you.
I am the puppet I am the strings,
I am the clergywoman vexating her chargrin,
Eating away at tumours cancer of the eyes,
Production Progeny I will to bring my own demise.
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5. |
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I won't love any more in this life of mine,
This distorted unfunny joke of a life,
I wish to be alone in this life,
So I won't hurt myself again.
I'll violently die a million times,
Like a trusted friend of Azrael,
Arching aches of my contrite mistakes,
Preventing me from reaching my Jain.
I'm a self sacrificing boulder of angst,
I'm a Salaminia made of bones and oil,
I'm a man I always was,
You were right; I'm sorry.
I don't deserve what you gave me.
Crus: Equine and Underpinning,
Comparing modality understanding reality,
I don't but I wish I did.
I live in lies I dug out for my body,
Progeny presenting prose of true self,
Arrogant Semele deprived of the delf
Of discovery; leaving me glacial atopy.
My name is not my stage of play,
Yet I felt the way you robbed me,
The girlhood below me,
Fool I a day.
It kills me that I live this life,
Throwing away gods greatest gift,
But if he really loved me he wouldn't,
Have gifted it like this.
I know he forgot me I know he missed my hand,
Reach out to jesus,
I know he'll understand.
Kill me I wish to know the feeling,
The finish line of this jacobean race,
Kill me I wish to be know the feeling,
Of relief from yearning for my place.
I have been 16 for all my life,
Angst, decision, nihilist strife.
It kills me that I live this life,
Throwing away gods greatest gift,
But if he really loved me he wouldn't,
Have gifted it like this.
I know he forgot me I know he missed my hand,
Reach out to jesus,
I know he'll understand.
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6. |
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I was only done stitching up my heart,
When you pulled the thread away from me,
You wrapped it around my legs and chest,
I am coming undone.
I was only done reaping my field of it's flowers,
You planted a seed which,
Grew into a wall of psychosis,
I have roots in my brain I am not sound of mind.
I wore white when you wore black,
Vice versa on some days,
Sanguine fluid lines the floor of the torrents,
I've sliced you open demon.
I am deranged because of you,
I am sick and suicidal because of you,
I am you I am you I am you.
Get out of me get the fuck out of me.
You can live without your legs,
You can live without your arms,
You can live without your brain but you,
Can't live without your heart.
I was only done finally making friends,
When you took them all away from me,
It's my fault,
I have roots in my brain I am not sound of mind.
I wore white when you wore black,
Vice versa on some days,
Sanguine fluid lines the floor of the torrents,
I've sliced you open demon.
I am bleach inhaling myself I am corrosive to my own lungs
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7. |
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8. |
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It was dark that night on the battlefield,
It was dark the night I died,
The battlefield made of phosporates and,
Other beautiful things.
I held a photograph in a locket,
A locket falling from a skyscraper,
Landing on you,
Protecting you.
There's nothing I can do now,
There's nothing I can do now,
There's nothing I can do now,
It's okay I promise.
If I could bring you back I could,
Your voice of valium,
The way you dig and claw through walls,
So desperately to find nothing.
But you can't come back,
No one can come back,
We can try,
If all we needed was love.
I miss that,
I miss your pain,
I miss my pain,
I miss you.
There's nothing I can do now,
There's nothing I can do now,
There's nothing I can do now,
It's okay I promise.
And so I pulled out a lighter,
I looked at the locket,
And I looked at your photo,
And there was one word on it.
Thallasaphobia.
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9. |
50|\/||\|1|>|-|0814
04:48
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Superman should've been your son,
The fascist bullet from a phallic gun,
But he wasn't there for you,
I'm sorry about that.
I will die for nothing I love without purpose,
I know what sex is,
The crystalline torture,
The broken microwave dumped near twisted rotting trees.
Superman's gone home and,
He's trading all of his clothes,
And you don't know what he looks like now,
And you don't know how she sounds.
The violet's hit the ground,
The human's are abound,
The violet has hit the ground,
And you don't know how she sounds.
God will die like we die,
And God will claw Fae's sex,
And God will abandon you,
Because you abused her.
And when God leaves you it's her fault,
Think of the things that you said,
Think of the things you did,
Stewards don't do that.
Superman's gone home and,
He's trading all of his clothes,
And you don't know what he looks like now,
And you don't know how she sounds.
The violet's hit the ground,
The human's are abound,
The violet has hit the ground,
And you don't know how she sounds.
She trades laugh for autographs and cigarettes,
Validation on the streets she got molested,
The streets you left behind,
She couldn't.
And when God leaves you it's her fault,
Think of the things that you said,
Think of the things you did,
Stewards don't do that.
Superman's gone home and,
He's trading all of his clothes,
And you don't know what he looks like now,
And you don't know how she sounds.
The violet's hit the ground,
The human's are abound,
The violet has hit the ground,
And you don't know how she sounds
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10. |
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She writes a poem for no one,
Everyday its misread,
The drunken slowdance becomes her,
Burlesque for the dead.
I'm not my body and I'm not the edifice it's inside,
I'm more than the sky I'm divine,
That resides inside the grand design,
Of esoteric manifestation the bright side of her life.
She licks her wounds proving a tongue peppered with stars,
Her ears perk up at the mention of battle scars,
She's stronger than you can ever know,
And she loves you, she loves you so.
Much more things she'll have to see
Before she can truly begin,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the skirt under the wall,
To be the rain that wets it,
To be the brain that forgets it,
To be the birds and nothing at all.
I'm not my body and I'm not the edifice it's inside,
I'm more than the sky I'm divine,
That resides inside the grand design,
Of esoteric manifestation the bright side of her life.
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all,
To be the birds and nothing at all.
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11. |
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The roots of your pirthidy lie in my victimhood,
Incursion against my fragile sex,
You knew this I told you this,
And you ignored it.
I told you I was raped I told you I was trans,
You laughed at it you said you knew me better than I did,
This is real this is authentic,
You don't fucking know me.
I look in the mirror I see nothing,
I see a void and I see static,
My rapist didn't break me my dysphoria didn't break me,
You broke me.
When I slit my throat when I was bleeding out in that shower,
I was picturing the smug look on your face,
I was picturing the way you leveraged my trauma against me,
Under the guise of care and I was going to die angry.
I didn't die not that you would know,
You ignorant fucking coward,
You pathetic worm,
You don't notice anything.
I wanted to crawl inside of your skin,
And I wanted to become you,
Your breasts and your hair,
Your legs and your eyes.
And my soul is wretched there is no saving it,
I am mud I am minerals to your seraphim,
How can I expect to ascend when my soul,
Was never made a flesh to become aether.
Memories warm you up from the inside but they also tear you apart,
I am flesh being ripped apart,
No flesh,
No flesh.
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
Our body is the space our souls take for practice,
You are my hallucination and my praxis,
You know I'd like to be your mattress.
So you're falling,
So what if you're falling,
Forever there's never,
Any ground to hit.
There's never any,
People to miss,
Never any,
People to kiss.
The world is like a maze,
You see from below unless,
You don't see,
And I don't see.
And I don't want to die,
If there's a chance I get to be you,
And I don't want to see the sky,
Not now not ever again.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
But I love you yes I love you,
Oh yes I do,
Be a part of my passionate bestial,
Brew.
Except I'm scared of sex not the act but the word,
The Word,
Except I'm scared of sex not the act but the word,
The Word,
Because the word has connotations,
Blatant masculine denotation,
Enigmatic stewardess deconstructing,
My emotional mess.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
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12. |
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What a privilege it is to circle this sun with you,
Your face your body my face and my body,
This life is so beautiful,
You are so beautiful.
I want to kiss your lips,
I want to hold your hands,
I want to make it clear with no sense of elaboration,
I love you.
I am overjoyed I am overzealous,
I am strange I am unreal I am,
Crying tears of joy,
Lachryma in my Amber Iris.
If I could lie which god knows I can't,
I would lie for you,
If I could die which god knows I can,
You would be worth dying for.
But I don't need to do that,
I'm here and I'm alive,
You're alive,
We're both alive and it's beautiful.
Did the angels kiss you?
Did they bathe you in milk?
Did they cover you in orchids and saintpaulias?
Did they scatter you in the wind?
How did I find you?
I am overjoyed I am overzealous,
I am strange I am unreal I am,
Crying tears of joy,
Lachryma in my Amber Iris.
You are so beautiful to me.
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13. |
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You're the essence preceding me,
The honorarium of your life and your body,
It becomes me,
As I become you.
Supersede the thing that never was me,
Cry tears of joy,
Lachrima in my amber iris,
Lachrima in my amber iris.
Boxwine and Orchid petals line,
The metallic magnetism where you find,
The two of us,
Only the two of us.
Be the grape that bursts in my mouth,
The torturous lust of what I wish we were,
I am not mutilated,
I am not possessed not lest it's by you.
Boxwine and Orchid petals line,
The metallic magnetism where you find,
The two of us,
Only the two of us.
Kiss me hold me adore me,
Love me gently like you,
Used to but you,
Can't anymore.
Supersede the thing that never was me,
Cry tears of joy,
Lachrima in my amber iris,
Lachrima in my amber iris.
Oh Lilith you're erotism has reached it's peak,
Your fetishes oblique,
Our benefactors interests are piqued,
But you're dead.
Boxwine and Orchid petals line,
The metallic magnetism where you find,
The two of us,
Only the two of us.
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14. |
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15. |
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And when you killed caesar did it happen then?
Did the seven seels unfurl and the seven trumpets ring?
Suffering eternal in the way that christ did,
Do you love me now enough to make my commission your tenet?
It's going to hurt this time,
More than it's ever hurt before.
Our world is ending because of you,
There are no days and no nights just your own two bodies,
Rubbing against each other trapping the violets in the poppies,
Our world is ending because of you.
It's going to hurt this time,
More than it's ever hurt before.
Bodys become soul,
Soul becomes spirit,
Spirit becomes dust.
But it won't hurt again.
I promise it won't hurt again,
I promise you it won't hurt again,
You'll take this body to it's end,
I promise it won't hurt again.
Iseult abandoned abusive Hoel,
Apokryphatic beyond limit,
Plucked from what should I be clutched,
The blood formed a crust viscera stained skirt.
It's going to hurt this time,
More than it's ever hurt before,
And you can't go on like it's normal,
I know, I understand.
Renegue swine,
You can't know what you did to me,
Robbed me of my femininity,
And its going to hurt this time.
Like carrying,
A reminder of the best years of my life,
Everywhere I go,
With me.
There'll be days where,
The lights aren't gonna shine for you,
Where your arms are given up,
An empty cup vascular and grotesque.
Would a moonspot be colder,
Or brighter it can't be lighter,
The fighter inside her and,
Inside him with a kiss of icy,
Pride,
Milkwight,
Celestial,
Pride.
If I wake up with the wounds of Christ put me down,
Let the dogs tear me apart,
Mother Mary is this what you want,
A martyr of loneliness?
Does your daughter not deserve love?
Or even like. Care.
There's no hand to reach out,
CHRIST CHRIST RAPE ME ON A CROSS.
Would a moonspot be colder,
Or brighter it can't be lighter,
The fighter inside her and,
Inside him with a kiss of icy,
Pride,
Milkwight,
Celestial,
Pride.
I was young when I realised the terror of my body,
I am old now and there's nothing I've done about it,
I am an antediluvian casket of my own poison,
Growing into masculine husks.
I was old when I realised this was trauma,
When I realised the things I felt and heard weren't real (or at least you say they aren't),
I am a penumbra puppeteer of a horror show,
I want to kill myself.
One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see,
So rip my eyes from their sockets I don't want to,
Witness myself ripping my legs ripping my arms,
Destroying my body destroying my self.
It doesn't make a difference,
We're going to hell,
It terrifies me,
I am forsaken both ways.
I was young when I realised the terror of existence,
I am old now and I know that this too solid flesh,
Could melt and thaw itself into a dew,
Mine eyes are made the fools.
I was young when you culled me,
You didn't kill me,
But you left me dead,
I will hit the ground.
I don't drink,
I don't smoke,
I don't breathe,
I don't think.
One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see,
So rip my eyes from their sockets I don't want to,
Witness myself ripping my legs ripping my arms,
Destroying my body destroying my self.
It doesn't make a difference,
We're going to hell,
It terrifies me,
I am forsaken both ways.
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell,
We're already in hell.
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16. |
Untitled
03:27
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