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Selene on trauma.
lyrics
The roots of your pirthidy lie in my victimhood,
Incursion against my fragile sex,
You knew this I told you this,
And you ignored it.
I told you I was raped I told you I was trans,
You laughed at it you said you knew me better than I did,
This is real this is authentic,
You don't fucking know me.
I look in the mirror I see nothing,
I see a void and I see static,
My rapist didn't break me my dysphoria didn't break me,
You broke me.
When I slit my throat when I was bleeding out in that shower,
I was picturing the smug look on your face,
I was picturing the way you leveraged my trauma against me,
Under the guise of care and I was going to die angry.
I didn't die not that you would know,
You ignorant fucking coward,
You pathetic worm,
You don't notice anything.
I wanted to crawl inside of your skin,
And I wanted to become you,
Your breasts and your hair,
Your legs and your eyes.
And my soul is wretched there is no saving it,
I am mud I am minerals to your seraphim,
How can I expect to ascend when my soul,
Was never made a flesh to become aether.
Memories warm you up from the inside but they also tear you apart,
I am flesh being ripped apart,
No flesh,
No flesh.
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I HAD TO CHANGE
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
I'M DEAD
Our body is the space our souls take for practice,
You are my hallucination and my praxis,
You know I'd like to be your mattress.
So you're falling,
So what if you're falling,
Forever there's never,
Any ground to hit.
There's never any,
People to miss,
Never any,
People to kiss.
The world is like a maze,
You see from below unless,
You don't see,
And I don't see.
And I don't want to die,
If there's a chance I get to be you,
And I don't want to see the sky,
Not now not ever again.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
But I love you yes I love you,
Oh yes I do,
Be a part of my passionate bestial,
Brew.
Except I'm scared of sex not the act but the word,
The Word,
Except I'm scared of sex not the act but the word,
The Word,
Because the word has connotations,
Blatant masculine denotation,
Enigmatic stewardess deconstructing,
My emotional mess.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
I'm looking forward to having memories,
I'm looking forward to losing them,
I'm looking forward to having memories,
Looking forward to losing myself again.
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