Get all 20 Isabella James releases available on Bandcamp and save 60%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of King Emerald and His Staff, The Dancers Reward, Fayre Inongenes Stote (Single), Lung (single), FOREST GATES/JUDITH II, Part III: A Gala Over ππ, The beautΓ© faye upon her face, Non erthly thing it may desface. (Cult Of Lilith), Desdemona, and 12 more.
1. |
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2. |
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My seed was planted,
Before I was born,
You chose to germinate me,
I didn't get the choice.
How to grow,
A woman out of the ground,
How to silence her,
Make sure she never makes a sound.
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3. |
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I grew up on the mississipi south,
When I was born my mother did shout,
In joy because I was her baby boy,
And I meant the whole word too her.
Babe do you resent me,
With the contemp I feel for you,
Babe you don't represent me,
And my feelings don't represent you.
I never was your oak tree,
You never watered me,
You kept me trapped here underground,
A blossom without a seed.
My branches reach inside of me,
They're tearing me apart,
You were right all along,
This hurts oh my god.
Babe do you resent me,
With the contemp I feel for you,
Babe you don't represent me,
And my feelings don't represent you.
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4. |
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I wanna feel everything at once,
Because that's the human condition,
I wanna feel happiness and sadness,
Lust and pain.
I wanna feel a hammer in my hand,
The smooth the cold the power,
I wanna feel a nail in between my fingers,
Speed going fifty miles an hour oh.
Time is a circle,
But it's a circe with an end,
So fuck everything that you do,
And say bye to all your friends.
I don't know what's right or wrong,
But I'm sure you do,
I don't know what's sure or false,
But I'm sure you do.
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5. |
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6. |
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I was born here,
I will die here,
For my life is temporary,
Why do I try.
Satan is real,
He lives in my body,
Down here,
Can't believe I'm alive.
Somedays it feels like I'm not alone,
Then I remember they're not real,
My emotions are invalid,
I never learnt how to feel.
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7. |
I'm In Love With A Ghost
03:36
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I'm in love with a ghost,
With her chest caved in,
Guts spewing out,
Her scream makes my ears ring.
I'm in love with a disease,
Makes my flesh melt away,
The drugs don't cure me,
They only prolong the pain.
The waters muddy Black and White,
You'd be better off without me,
Leave me behind,
To rot in my own Love.
I'm in love with a knife,
Getting closer to my skin,
Turning me inside out,
Dilating me from within.
Fragrant Roses strike the poses,
Performing social arrogance,
Lugubrious thoughts strike again,
Oh am I a man again.
I'm in love with a cage,
It's name ends in James,
The moment I stop holding on,
I go fucking insane.
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8. |
Emasculate Me
03:05
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You said you were tired,
So I held you in my arms,
You said everydays the same,
So I took you on.
A totally different life,
An island in the sun,
I'm sorry that you feel like this,
I'm sorry that you're the one.
You said you had a special plan,
To watch the world burn,
You said you were looking for a special man,
And that I wasn't her.
I was a mistake,
I wasn't an accident but I was a mistake,
I should've never been born,
I don't know why I was.
I fucking hate it here,
Being a puppet to my own strings,
A tourniquet around my self,
A snakebite on my fingertip.
Emasculate me where I stand,
Take my gall for milk,
I want to be a witness,
To my own death.
You said you were tired,
So I held you in my arms,
You said everydays the same,
So I took you on.
A totally different life,
An island in the sun,
I'm sorry that you feel like this,
I'm sorry that you're the one.
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9. |
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It's hard not to want to kill yourself when every living moment is a punch to gut,
And all your problems would be solved if you just gave up,
Its not the only option but it's the quickest one,
Both depend on pills that's the way you look at it.
Your scared of sex both the act and your own,
Your scared of putting yourself on display like some sort of freak show,
The people they adore you they think you are a joke,
But noone understands the darkness going on below.
Your eyes shatter in the mirror,
Blood on the shower floor,
Tears in the liquor bottle,
You attention seaking whore.
Your scared of sex both the act and your own,
Your scared of putting yourself on display like some sort of freak show,
The people they adore you they think you are a joke,
But noone understands the darkness going on below.
My body is a nightmare,
I feel when I'm awake,
My mind is a trap,
A pointless keepsake.
My legs are towers,
Long and opaque,
My hair is made of knives,
They itch for my namesake.m
I don't want to leave this earth,
But I can't stay here anymore,
It's all so overwhelming,
My mind and my bodys war.
My eyes are sore,
From looking at strangers,
My arms are tired,
From hugging people I don't love.
I can't feel my own hands,
They are cold as ice,
A sensation througout me,
But I'm used to it now.
I don't want to leave this earth,
But I can't stay here anymore,
It's all so overwhelming,
My mind and my bodys war.
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10. |
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Do you have nights like I have,
Everybody does,
Nights where your world cascades in on itself,
And everyone tells you nothings wrong.
People crawl,
And people bight,
Insect wings lash like rife.
Insects crawl,
And insects bight,
But you were honest,
Less-than-pure like thife.
It wasn't your fault,
These things shouldn't happen to anyone,
Yet they did,
I don't know what to say.
I'm not a poet I'm a defeatist,
A defeatist who knows her wrongs,
A defeatist who feels hopeless,
Without your songs.
People shout,
And people harass,
People can give you heart attacks.
I'm sorry that this happened,
I'm sorry for the cause,
I'm sorry for the problems that this cause performs,
People scare me,
Yet I scare people,
I wish I could leave them.
One day I will lay down,
My ear to the ground,
Embraced by something bigger than myself.
The freezing ice,
The deep blue sky,
The way the stars light up the sky.
And every litte insect,
Out of my control,
They're all so tiny,
They all have a role.
And I will see the roll they have,
I'll see the role that's mine,
I'll function in society,
I won't want to cry.
But I only don't want to that,
For I've been tought It's wrong,
These are negative emotions,
I've been ridding for so long.
What if I embraced them,
As nature embraces me,
Dived head first into the ice cold emotional sea.
She stared at her reflection didn't like what she could see,
She put on her acrylics went out at half three,
In the morning her mind was forming valid reasons to be,
Launching herself into a dangerous situation,
Her heart was breaking her mind was aching and all because every waking,
Moment of her life she never felt right,
Never was a mother never was a wife,
Couldn't smother the feeling that something was wrong.
You don't know my struggles,
You don't know where I've been,
Look inside my mind,
For the horrors I have seen.
You don't know my struggles,
You don't know where I've been,
Look inside my mind,
For the horrors I have seen.
It's a depressing scene,
The troubles she had seen,
How her body never gleemed,
Like the shine of polystyrene.
Fixing her hair in the bathroom,
Three men based on what they presumed,
And based on what she thought she knew,
Beat her making a stab wound.
She cried out for help to the harsh cold night,
She couldn't move her arm to remove the knife,
Another scare this time not by her hand,
All because these people viewed her as a man.
So take this to heart an innocent life was lost that night,
All because of bigotry and dysphoric strife,
So know everytime i get ready to go,
I fear I lose my life.
You don't know my struggles,
You don't know where I've been,
Look inside my mind,
For the horrors I have seen.
You don't know my struggles,
You don't know where I've been,
Look inside my mind,
For the horrors I have seen.
I'm not here,
I don't feel earthly things,
I'm scared of my body,
Maybe that's why I float away.
This is the answer,
To the prayers that I've been saying,
This is the answer,
To the questions I have,
I'm not feeling this,
I don't feel stomach pains,
I don't feel the lump on my throat,
Maybe that's why I'm not okay.
This is the answer,
To the prayers that I've been saying,
This is the answer,
To the questions I have,
I'm not myself,
I don't feel I'm who you say I am,
I don't know who I am anymore,
Except that I am you.
A boat on a stream,
Covered in white flies,
A stream of blood,
A stream of lies.
This is the answer,
To the prayers that I've been saying,
This is the answer,
To the questions I have.
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