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I Hate My Family I Feel Sick I Wish I Was Dead

from Detransitioning Comes For Us All When We Die by Isabella James

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lyrics

I fear death above all else,
Because if heaven is where people go,
It's no different to here,
I eschew not only the present,

But the eternal.

Make a Martyr out of me,
If I can't be your daughter I'll bitterly be your path to fame,
I fucking hated you I always did,
You'll get some use out of me when I'm dead.

Wrap my body in basil leaves,
Cover my breasts with silk,
I'm not ashamed anymore,
I'm too anhedonic to be ashamed.

Someday I will fly.
I will give myself wings.
With music.
And pills.

I am a rose,
Germinated by a hand I can't discern,
Left to wither,
Left to die.

credits

from Detransitioning Comes For Us All When We Die, released February 9, 2021

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Isabella James Leeds, UK

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